The Tortie Papers 03: Tortie Goes Out For Lunch
by Paul Kemner
See the bottom of the page for warnings, codes and other info.

Tortie had been starting the long and arduous process of making newspaper reporters out of the newly-hired Ali and Bob when her phone rang. After asking Lenny Gatto to take over their training, she returned to her office and picked it up.

"Hello, is this the new editor of the Tribune?" said a vaguely familiar femkat voice. "I would like to protest in the strongest terms the direction of your new editorial policy. It's shameful, ill-conceived, wrong-headed, self-serving, and dreadfully drab, dull, and awful!"

After the first flush of confusion and anger over the unfair complaint, with a shock Tortie recognized the voice. "Annie? Annie! Is that you?" The familiar laughter of her old college roommate rang from the receiver, confirming her suspicions. "Annie- How in the world did you know I was here, much less the new editor?"

"We info-kats have our sources, but we can never divulge them." said Annie.

"Oh, I bet it was from that Marker guy that quit the Trib. Met him while he was cleaning out his desk. He got some big job over at Kats' Eye News, right?"

"If you call reading the weather in front of a blue-painted wall, and pretending it's a satellite map a big job-" laughed Annie. "Oh, and he did get his own show..... As the star of Cap'n Salty's Kartoon Katamaran!" Both kats laughed. "Tortie- I haven't seen you in ages! Why don't you meet me at Le Poisson Royale for lunch in 15 minutes?"

"Le Poisson Royale? That sounds way too rich for my budget. I went into debt just to pay a security deposit. How about the Ketch-a-Bite on East Manx Street instead?"

"It's a date- I've got one or two things to straighten up here, and I'll meet you there, Tortie. Bye"

.........

As Tortie walked to the restaurant, she thought about what a small staff the Trib had. Her comment to the cubs about Lenny doing the work of several kats was certainly true! The femkats of MKCity would hiss with horror if they realized that when they wrote to the "Ask Kittie LeMeux" column for romantic advice, they were answered by the paunchy, cigar-chomping sports writer! And how the sports fans would yowl if they knew that Lenny (in the guise of Kittie) told their wives and girlfriends that "All toms are slime!" and suggested strategies to pry their toms away from the TV during major sporting events!

That thought had already brought a smile to Tortie's face, when she spied her friend approaching the eatery from the other direction.

"Tortie, it's so good to see you after all these years!"

"Too bad I can't say the same to you." As a look of puzzlement washed over Annie's face, Tortie continued: "I've seen you all the time on the tube! There was always a network feed from MegaKat City, with you interviewing the 70-foot centipede of the week. Is there any city with more disasters?

After the two had selected their food, Annie led the way to a booth in the window. "That's Annie!, always has to be in the spotlight!" thought Tortie.

"Tortie, I've really missed your sense of fun. Remember when you ran the campus newspaper, and would send yourself fake letters-to-the-editor? That time the U. got new trash cans, and you published your own letter complaining because the cans said 'Waste Paper' on the lid? What an outrage that they would encourage students to 'Waste Paper'!

"And two weeks later, the university had labels that said 'Receptacle' made, and stuck them below 'Waste Paper' on every can." Both kats laughed. "I remember when the other kats at the radio station would try to make you laugh while you were in the booth reading the news. They tried everything, including mooning you through the glass, but they could never get you to break up!" What a pro- even then!

Annie remembered that Tortie had never tried to make her laugh when she was doing the news. You just don't sabotage a fellow professional-or friend, unless you're getting even for them undermining you.

Annie picked up one of her fish sticks as if it was her microphone. "This is Ann Gora- Kat's Eye News." she intoned in her trademark style, "I'm here with Tortie Caracal, bright new editor of The Trib. Tortie- just what do you have planned for MegaKat City?" She inclined the 'microphone' at her friend.

"This-" said Tortie, biting the proffered fish stick and tearing it from Annie's hand. Annie looked at her hand in stunned, mock horror. "Oh, here." said Tortie as she put one of her fish on Annie's plate as a replacement. Both kats collapsed with mirth.

"This is doing Annie a lot of good." thought Tortie. "I bet she's always afraid to laugh or joke whenever there's a camera around. She'll play the 'ice queen' as her professional image, even if it kills her.... This is doing both of us a lot of good." she corrected herself. "I need more friends in this town than just the four kats I work with!"


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Title: The Tortie Papers 03: Tortie Goes Out For Lunch
Authors: Paul Kemner
Rating: PG-13
Status: Series-In-Progress
Fandoms: SWAT Kats
Pairings: None
Category: Adventure, Drama, Monster-of-the-Week, Sci-Fi
Codes: None
Summary: Tortie and Ann Gora meet for lunch to catch up on old times.
Disclaimer:As everyone should know, none of us claim any rights or ownership of the characters and worlds belonging to others, including the SWAT Kats and any others we throw in the mix. We're doing this because we love them too much to see them be forgotten, or not have just one more adventure, and just possibly the reward they deserve.