Jake and Ashley stopped at the entrance airlock to 'Gildenfire'. There was a noticeable delay before it opened. As it opened Defender advanced growling, then he noticed Ashley, after a quick sniff to make sure who it was he barked welcomingly to her. Then he noticed Jake and advanced slowly on the stranger; a low growl rumbling in his throat.

"Uh, Ash?"

"Defender, it's okay. Jake's a friend."

The large canine looked back over his shoulder at Ashley, and then back at Jake. Suddenly, he wagged his short tail and just about knocked the lean tom over trying to lick his face in an overly friendly fashion.

"I think he likes you." Ashley observed wryly.

"Is that what you call it?"

Defender barked happily, turned and walked back through the airlock. The airlock stayed open as a humanoid figure in black advanced from the shadows. Jake was surprised to see the persona Nathan had named Hunter pass him and Ashley without speaking and disappeared at the far end of the boarding tube. Although anger had tinged the dark-furred hunter's scent, the look on his face had been that of the professional assassin: impassionate and focused. What was strange was though he was wearing the black tailored body armor Jake had seen him wearing in the Hall; he wasn't carrying any weapons.

As the two of them entered the station, Ashley noted that the station lighting was at half-power, which usually indicated an emergency situation. She figured that Nathan should have some idea what was going on, so the thing to do was find him.

Morin came gliding down the wide corridor and landed in front of them. As he caped his wings, Ashley caught the scent of something like burning sandalwood, and remembered that that was the scent of a truly agitated Dracon from one of the fire clans.

"Morin, what's going on here?" Ashley asked. "What's with the emergency lighting?"

"Sorry, Medic Terrell. Things are in a bit of disorder right now. It relates to that delicate matter we discussed earlier. I'm not entirely sure how, but Nathan found out and now Storm's missing, though I have an idea where; and Nathan's missing and I can't find him. NightClaw is busy keeping Marauder entertained so he doesn't pick up on the disruption, and Hunter, who I think saw Nathan last, just came this way ... unfortunately I can't keep up with him."

The red dragon paused to catch his breath, and leaned heavily against a bulkhead wall.

"Hunter left the station, unarmed and definitely on the hunt, if my time as Reaper and Surin are anything to judge by." Jake supplied quickly, then turned to Ashley. "Which 'delicate situation'?"

"Storm saw what Nathan got from T-Bone's mask." She replied simply, the grim expression on her face quickly matched on Jake's.

"Crud."

Morin nodded. "Hunter is the most 'independent' of the personas, though he still seeks Nathan's approval for things ... he's far more argumentative when he disagrees. And he has the strongest attunement to the exception in the prohibition Nathan has against killing."

Morin looked at the airlock. "My concern is that Hunter may attempt to take control of the physical body while Nathan is otherwise occupied. This alone is cause for concern, but I am uncertain of Storm's state of mind. Hunter assisted by a strong TechnoMage, even if inexperienced, is not something I consider a 'positive' development."

"It's of a good deal more concern given where Feral is right now." Jake shivered and reached out through the shields. *'Cathedral, whatever you do, do not let Nathan out of my quarters until I say otherwise. Another TechnoMage, our son Storm, may try to force the issue.'*

*'I understand. Not that the door will open anyway, but I'll make sure it stays closed too.'* There was a fraction of a pause. *'Is what you're doing going to change what Rik is to you?'*

*'Of course not,'* Jake confusion was clear in both voice and face. *Why?'*

*'He and Alex and outside, and the kit's very upset.'*

"Oh, great." Jake groaned and sought out the bond with his Black Phoenix pilot. *'Rik, sorry about how this happened, but don't you dare think you mean any less to me for it. I'm not leaving you, even if I'm not with the squad anymore.'*

"I agree, and Hunter is not easily discouraged. He spent almost 10 years hunting down the members of a mercenary group who ambushed a unit Nathan had been serving with. He got each and every one of them, despite them being on different planets ... and two of them were in maximum security prisons."

"Sounds like a guy I could like, a lot." Jake chuckled softly, though his tone was serious.

There was a sudden burst of golden light, and Hunter came flying through the air to slam against a bulkhead in the hallway. Through the open airlock, a large golden lion with wings of burnished gold sat staring at Hunter.

*'Do NOT try that again, Hunter. You may NOT move the physical body during the Joining.'* A stern male mind-voice was directed at Hunter, but everyone could pick up some of what was said.

Hunter lay against the wall and looked at the winged lion. "You just don't understand." He said in a quiet, pained voice.

"What don't we understand?" Ashley asked gently as she checked Hunter for injuries, then helped him to his feet.

He sighed dejectedly. "I'm just trying to do what Nathan needs. What he'll do if he has to. But he's not supposed to, that's my job I take care of things so he doesn't have to. He said it was okay; Storm being hurt was more than he could take. Nobody understands the way I do, he won't let anybody see how much this is hurting him ... or how he thinks it's his fault this happened. But if I take care of things, then he doesn't have to worry anymore ... he can let go of it."

"Storm was hurt?" Jake's growl centered attention on him even before Ashley reacted. "By who?" His body shifted slightly, a mixture of Reaper and Razor's clothing on him as a pure, protective rage flashed to the surface.

Hunter sighed. "Storm saw someone he's fond of hurt in a way he can't understand, and his father can't find words to explain it because he's suppressed the memories trying focus on what's happening now. So Storm's confused and in no small way scared, partially because when Marquis broke us all free he broke some of the shielding that Nathan was using to protect Storm from the harshness of what was happening."

He shook his head. "Storm knows how powerful a person the tom who hurt Chance is, and he has a NightBlade's view that no one outside the team can look after the team. But he's not physical, there's nothing he can do ... and that's got him almost hysterical. I gave him an outlet, let him help me take care of things ... but Felsira wouldn't let me."

He shook his head. "I can't help him feel better, I barely understand emotions myself ... all I could do was give him a chance to help out ... and now I can't even do that."

"Chance's rape ... from the mask." Ashley shot a look at Jake. "Chill, you handed ...."

"That was before it affected my son."

"Our son, and this is still not your case for the same reason you gave it up in the first place." She growled back. "It's not like you won't get to carry out his punishment when he's found guilty."

Hunter sat down by the airlock, and went into a meditative state. "Felsira said I can't do anything now, but I can wait. I waited ten years to get the last of the Deathshrikes, I can wait a few hours." His clothing changed to a NightBlade uniform. "NightBlades do not allow corruptible judicial systems to deal with those who wrong them, they deal with directly." His voice was flat, but there was a deadly certainty behind it.

"Watch who you call corruptible." Jake turned his anger at Hunter.

Morin looked at Hunter. "He's right about one thing, he'll wait all right ... and if I'm any judge of Nathan's mindstate, he'll be in control as soon as Nathan goes to sleep. Everyone has their breaking point, I think Nathan's hit his. Of course, it would help if I could find him ... or Storm for that matter ... I have an idea where Storm might be ... maybe."

"Then let's try to find him." Ashley sighed in frustration at the male felines. "At least I can try to explain what he saw, and what is being done about it."

"Command Center is where we start if my guess is right." The red dragon said calmly. He looked back at Hunter. "Truth of the matter is Hunter doesn't trust organizations much, especially not ones that remind him of Citadel and I'm afraid that Jake's earlier comment about the lack of real privacy in Cathedral did just that." He gestured. "There's a faster way to command than the tour route."

"Well, I'm not surprised." She grumbled and followed Morin without bothering to see if the males were coming. "From what I understand, about the only real difference between the two is the value they place on operatives, and that is Jake's doing. Pat's not quite so moral."

Morin sighed. "It does seem that operating as a law unto oneself engenders such behavior, if one achieves any significant power." He walked up to a wall panel and tapped a rapid series of digits onto a command panel. "Emergency Command Deck access grav tube, if you're unfamiliar with them you may be more comfortable if you hold onto me on the way up ... the first time can be very disconcerting."

"Okay," she wrapped her arms around the Dracon's waist that was only a couple feet taller than she was, "but with her, it's more a case of she was never raised with them. Her father is much worse."

Morin stepped into the tube which shifted from 1G slowly to 0G during which Morin pushed off, and then the tube shifted to -1G pushing them upward rapidly, until it reversed the procedure to bring them level with a doorway which opened on the Command Deck.

Morin grinned. "Fast, efficient ... and hell on anybody who doesn't take 0G well." He went over to the one console, and tapped a few buttons to verify something. "That's what I thought, he went out the sentinel link again, only this time he's just sitting at the other end; watching, I guess."

Morin looked at the readout, and sighed. "Shards and shells, the kid's a fast learner. I never taught him how to form Kin-Bonds but he seems to have figured it out."

"Who did he bond with?" She asked apprehensively.

The Dracon sighed. "Chance. I can only guess at the kit's logic but its possible he's concluded that nobody cares but him, and that if he bonds himself to Chance then people will have to care. That's a guess, of course, but he shares many of Nathan's traits ... and it's the sort of thing Nathan has done before."

"That should be an interesting story in the Sharing." She shook her head.

He shook his head. "If only the kit didn't have the TechnoMage abilities this wouldn't be possible ... Felsin can't bond this way ... unfortunately, TechnoMages are quite capable of bonding without the other person knowing."

"I know," she sighed in frustration. "Jake and I both do it unintentionally as well. Got a clue where the kit is though?"

Morin nodded and tapped the second largest bond indicator. "Yep, like I said he went out on the sentinel link. To put it another way, he's basically in a holding pattern in Chance's general area. If the pilot was at all psi-sensitive, there'd be a good chance he'd see Storm, 'cause the kid generates too much 'noise' to stealth properly."

"Well, he is a PsiPilot, sort of." She considered for a moment. "Though I'm not sure I'd classify him as psi-sensitive. He's like me that way; he can only access certain frequencies. Though a TechnoMage like Storm may broadcast on the right frequency. I rather hope he _doesn't_ notice. That Kat has had enough shocks for six lifetimes already."

"Well, in any event we really have two options: one, we wait for Storm to come back in, or two, one of us has to go out there and talk to him. And actually as far as option two; I think the only option we have is for you to go, since I'm carrying a lot of excess energy due to the distance I have to project ... I can only imagine the effect of that much energy coming through the sentinel." He chuckled grimly. "The pilot would probably see me, Storm and probably numerous other interesting things ... and if luck holds the way it has been, the sentinel would probably absorb enough energy to become a LifeBond."

"I do not want to think about the repercussions of that, but just how can I go?" She tried to think of a way. "I'm not a bio'path ... I'm downright mind-blind on that level."

The Dracon chuckled. "I'm just going to take advantage of that 'extra' energy Grandmother is sending and expand the frequency range of the sentinel ... expanding it into the 'mechanical' range which both you and Storm share. I will only hope that I do not hit a frequency that the pilot senses ... unfortunately, I don't know him so there's no way for me to be sure."

He concentrated and a portal opened alongside the console. "Storm just dives into the console, but I thought you might find a more 'conventional' image easier." He focused and the portal brightened and steadied. "That should do it, just try not to do anything too creative while you're out there ... any additional energy I have to dump in to keep things stable increases the chance of the pilot seeing what he doesn't need to see."

"I understand that much." She nodded and walked through the door. "I'll try to be 'quiet'."

Ashley had sensation of 'sliding' followed by a sudden 'thump' as the world came back into focus. She was in fairly standard Ameliorate guest quarters, though they were translucent, and not really solid to touch either. Storm was sitting cross-legged on the bed, looking somewhat despondent.

Chance was asleep in the bed with his arms loosely wrapped around a Brown Hyena she quickly placed a Brandy Ressa, the Cathedral Recruiter.

"Hi, Storm." She sat next to the winged White Tiger kitten and did her best to ignore the thought that she needed to get him out of here before either of those two woke up. "What'ca doing?"

Storm looked up briefly. "Hi, Ashley." He said quietly. "Just lookin' after Uncle Chance."

She nodded easily. "Why does he need looking after? He's a grown warrior, with friends who want him safe."

Storm shook his head. "He's not safe ... the other one's still out there. Everybody else is too busy, or doesn't care. Being a grown warrior didn't help before ... but I can."

Ashley noticed what looked to be a small sword in Storm's hand, only it was constructed out of pure psi energy, and destructive psi energy at that.

"The big brown tom that hurt him?" She asked gently. "The one you saw in your father's mind from T-Bone's mask."

The little White Tiger nodded reluctantly, never taking his eyes off of Chance.

"You don't have to guard Chance against him. " She put a gentle hand on the kit's shoulder. "Jake saw to it that he's locked away until he can be properly dealt with."

The kit shook his head. "He's one of the people who does the locking away, he won't stay locked up long. NightBlades don't rely on others to protect teammates; they take care of things themselves. Hunter was gonna take care of it, but Felsira wouldn't let him. So I gotta look after Uncle Chance until Hunter can fix things."

"Storm, Jake had him locked away, here in Cathedral. Feral doesn't have any authority here in Jake's domain, no power to free himself before Jake deals with him." She paused. "Or is your new father not a NightBlade?"

Storm looked at the ground. "He is ... but he said ... he was too close to both of them." He looked up at Ashley, confused. "NightBlades don't have divided loyalties, the team is everything. If Jake can't be sure where his loyalties are, how can the other people who aren't NightBlades be trusted." It was hard for Ashley to see that Storm was handling the concept very well. "Would only take one of them for him to get loose." He sighed deeply.

"Storm, please try to follow this, it's rather complicated." She settled in with all the calm patience of her profession. Then she cocked her head, considering. "Or perhaps not too complicated, in principle. What do NightBlades do when one is accused of hurting another? NightBlade vs. NightBlade?"

Storm thought about it. "I don't know, Dad doesn't remember it ever happening. They just don't, I mean not deliberately. Just playing too rough, or something like that. I mean the team is too important for them to do that."

"Well, Jake is in a position as team leader where a member of his 'team' is both victim and attacker." She glossed over as many details as she could. "It's not something Nathan would know, but Ulysses Feral, that giant brown tom, is as much a part of Jake's team as Chance is.

"That is not a choice you rush into, killing a teammate, and he felt the need to be very sure this wasn't a trick by some outside party trying to destroy them. But he took steps to ensure that the two wouldn't come close to each other until he was sure. And when the attacker is sure of, he'll deal with him, teammate or no." She let a small breath out. "But Storm, Chance is being protected, from both Feral and an outside force, by those Jake trusts."

Storm looked at Ashley. "What 'team' are you talking about? I don't think it's the one Dad thinks of." The look on Storm's face clearly said he knew things were being left out.

"No, it's not." She spoke softly. "Nathan thinks of the first of the front line as SWAT; just Jake, Chance and himself. It's the only members he was introduced to. But SWAT is a good deal bigger than that, and Ulysses is part of Jake's unit, even if Nathan wasn't introduced to him yet."

"Oh, Dad's met him. They've crossed paths professionally a few times. Dad didn't like him even before, now forget it. But it isn't really Dad that'll handle it anyway. Hunter deals with those problems. Betcha Chance didn't know Feral was on his team either ..." he looked seriously at Ashley. "Did Feral know he was on the team? He sure didn't act like it. I saw him on TV a couple of times ... those weren't very nice things he said."

"No they weren't, and quite intentionally so." She sighed. "Politics are confusing at the best of times and this isn't one of them." She paused a moment, not sure how much of what Storm knew. "Has Nathan let you in on how Cazi would lie about how he really felt or thought for the good of the team and mission? Sometimes in public?"

"Cazi?" Storm paused for a moment. "Oh, you must mean Grandpa Cazimir ... now wait a minute, everybody knew Grandpa Cazi was on the team, and that he'd have to say certain things. So why's Jake the only one who knew Feral's on the team ... didn't he trust Dad or Chance?"

"I honestly don't know if Chance knew, or what he knows, kitten." She brushed a stray bang from Storm's face. "I wasn't very active until your father showed up." She sighed wistfully. "But I know most of the Black Phoenix team knew. As for Nathan ... Jake hasn't been able to think clearly around him for a long time. By the time the trust was there, it didn't occur to him to say anything. By then Jake was more concerned with not hurting Nathan by saying something wrong than explaining the intricacies of MegaKat City shadow politics to him, when they didn't affect day to day life."

"Politics?"

"Of the most annoying kind, as far as I'm concerned." She grumbled.

"Gee, Dad'll be relieved to hear that. He thinks Jake was referring to something a lot more personal. I'm not sure exactly what he means by that but he doesn't like the idea whatever he means."

"Considering the level of miscommunication between the two of them, I'm not at all surprised." Ashley shook her head. "Things may not be perfect between Jake and Chance right now, but it's not that serious a problem in the long run. They just need to actually talk to each other."

Storm giggled. "That's what my jaguar friend said." He looked at her. "But I still don't know, I mean judging by what Hunter says this Cathedral's a really big place, Jake can't know everybody. There could be somebody who doesn't care what Feral did, and might let him loose. That's the problem with big organizations it's easy to have to a few bad people slip in. At least that's what Hunter said."

She nodded a little reluctantly. "Yes, Cathedral is quite large, but the place Feral is being held is not accessible by anyone outside the team's security officers, and he does know all of them. Plus Brandy there," she indicated the female in bed with Chance, "is quite protective of her mates while she's with them. I wouldn't want to cross her."

Storm started to relax. "Do you think that Jake and Chance still like each other? With what Jake said about wanting Chance far away it seems like Rhymar and Morin ... only one of them was ever around, 'cause Rhy didn't like Morin." Storm looked very concerned.

She smiled sadly and hugged him close, carefully avoiding the psi-blade. "Yes, Storm, I think they do. They are both hurting a great deal right now, and don't want to be around any reminders of that hurt, including each other. But their hurts can be healed, unlike Rhy's issues with Morin." She backed off a little to look Storm in the eyes. "Jake and Chance love each other, they really do, but sometimes things get to the point you don't know any way to deal with your hurts anymore, but to run from them. They're hurting like that right now, is all. It may be a while, but they won't be like this forever."

The little tiger smiled. "Good, 'cause I don't like to see Dad as upset as he is right now. You know, he hates not being able to help ... but he gets even more upset when he thinks his help did more harm than good." The psi-blade slowly faded away. "Besides I was hoping I'd get to meet Chance for real, not just watching like this.

"So these friends of Jake will keep Feral locked up safely away from Chance?" He asked as though needing reassurance.

"Yes, they will." Ashley was utterly convinced of her own words. "If you know how to navigate out here, I can show you."

Storm shook his head. "I believe you, besides we better find Dad. He was pretty upset. I think maybe I asked something I shouldn't have."

"Any idea where he could have gone?" Real concern crept into her voice. "Morin doesn't know, and no one else seems to be coherent enough to even look for him."

"Can't Jake find him?" The little tiger seemed worried. "I thought they were LifeMates."

"Jake and Hunter were arguing last time I saw them." She sighed in real frustration. "No help at all. I suppose I could deck him and get his attention, but sometimes it's useful to leave the agitated ones out of it."

"I think he's still on the 'station' but he's probably in one of the unused sections somewhere." Storm suggested, not at all sure.

"Then let's get back to the control center. The scanners should provide a starting point, or Lord Morin can."

Storm giggled. "Jake and Hunter? I'll bet 'cause Hunter argues with everybody, even Dad." He stopped to gently pat Chance on the head. "Morin sure makes enough noise, but there's a faster way back."

Suddenly Storm's wings expanded to engulf them both, before they appeared suddenly in the Command center. "Hey, stealth dragon! You can take out that extra channel." The little tiger yelled while giggling. "You're just lucky I saw that channel coming in, you almost put Ashley straight through on the main Black Phoenix frequency." He looked at Ashley. "Wonder what Uncle Chance would have made of that?" He grinned broadly.

The Dracon chuckled and the doorway vanished. He shook his head. "What is it about tigers, that they insist on roaring at the oddest times?"

"Storm thinks Nathan is still in the station, just an unused section ... or if someone can clue me in on how, I can use the bond to find him."

Morin looked at Storm for a moment, then nodded. "It should be possible to trace the LifeBond pathway from here, since it's the strongest bond passing through. Given that we know where one end is since Jake hasn't moved, the other end logically ... must be Nathan."

Storm nodded. "Yep, which means ..." He looked at his bond diagram console. "Dad's in Medical, which doesn't see much use lately but does have the second heaviest shielding; and its somewhere he'd feel comfortable." He looked to Ashley. "Since Jake's busy arguing, maybe you ought to try and talk to him, he seems comfortable around you."

Ashley looked over the diagrams and control panels. "I have got to get one of these." She chuckled a little sheepishly at the others. "Yes, I'll talk to Nathan. If nothing else, he may not be happy to see Jake, since he didn't make a sound across their bond." She shook her head. "To shield whatever happened that heavily ...."

"Okay," she shrugged it off, "how do I get to Medical?"

Storm pulled something out of a drawer and tossed it to Ashley. It was a 'standard' Alliance wristcom, with one of the functions being 'get me where I need to go'. "You remember how those work, right?"

She noticed it was already directing her to medical.

The station was strangely quiet, normally even on graveyard shifts the stations machinery generated a certain amount of noise. Even that was muffled. It became evident when she entered the unused portions of the station, as the dust on the floor had only been disturbed by one set of footprints recently.

The closer she got to Medical the dimmer the lights seemed to get. The doors also seemed slower to open, and the lifts moved slower. But eventually she did reach the Medical section.

She stopped in front of the main door to Medical and tapped the door, hoping it would open without major tweaking. She still wasn't very sure whether this place would respond to her gifts.

The door opened onto a typical Alliance Medical facility, with a very untypical activity going on. Nathan, dressed in Medic Whites was doing the reverse of setting up a medical facility. He was methodically taking every item and putting it back in the protective packing it came in.

"Hi, Nathan." She couldn't stop the sick knot growing in her stomach, but did keep her voice fairly light. "Mind telling me what you're doing?"

"I'm stopping myself from meddling anymore. Everything I touch falls apart, everyone I get near gets hurt. I just can't seem to do anything right, so I just need to stop."

He started rambling while packing. "I befriended Sy and he died; I loved Rhymar and he died. I got involved with SWAT and it fell apart ... not only that but in the process of trying to hold it together I hurt Jake, and almost got Chance killed. Then the one time I might actually have done some good I wasn't even there, I was at some damn fool conference. If I'd been where I should've been I could've caught on to what was happening, kept Chance from going that night. But I screwed up, and wasn't even there ... and now because of that Storm's been hurt too ... as if my failing him the first time wasn't bad enough. And now he thinks I can put SWAT back together, and I can't but he insists on believing I can so I'll end up letting him down again. But I can't do it, I won't meddle again. I can't risk hurting them even worse by trying again."

He stood at a medical bed apparently stumped at trying to figure out how to pack it.

"Colonel SolGardin," Ashley knew she was taking a terrible risk, but every shred of training she had screamed at her to do it, "do you honestly believe that?"

Nathan sat down on the bed looking dejected and significantly smaller. "What else can I believe? It all fits. It was only dumb luck that got me back from the conference in time to do anything at all. And even that required someone else to make work ... there wasn't anything I could do on my own. Medic's supposed to hold the team together, looks like I did a real abysmal job of that." He gestured at a desk where a shattered picture lay ... it was the picture he had dropped Friday of the three in their SWAT uniforms.

He shivered as she sat down next to him and embraced him across the shoulders. "You know what really scares me? What'll happen once we leave Joining space. In here I have some control, I can keep the disasters away ... but out there, what'll I screw up next? Who'll die cause they got close to me? I don't know if I can live with the answers, to say nothing about anyone else being able to."

"Gods, between the two of you ..." real frustration broke her professional calm for a moment. "Nathan, are you willing to look at this logically in the light of real facts, or are you content to stay with your delusions?"

He shivered quietly. "I thought was looking at facts, wasn't I?" He asked, with a hint of desperate hope in his voice that maybe he'd been wrong.

"Half truths at most, blatant misconceptions for the most part." She sighed and sorted her mind out. "I don't know about Sy and Rhymar, but from the last year, you haven't checked into reality any more than Jake has.

"Okay, bottom line, if you hadn't interfered that first time, Jake, and SWAT, would have been dead a year ago. Makes the rest moot. And Black Phoenix wouldn't have been ready to do anything yet.

"As for you hurting Jake to keep the team together and nearly getting Chance killed for it, that's the biggest load of bullshit I've head in a long time. You've done more good for Jake in the last year than I have in the last thirty. He's actually made a few steps towards being saner, instead of the other direction.

"And Nathan," she tipped his chin up and met anguished green eyes, "I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Storm when he asked.

"Jake and Chance do still love each other, but sometimes things get to the point you don't know any way to deal with your hurts anymore, but to run from them. They're hurting like that right now, is all. It may be a while, but they won't be like this forever. They need friends willing to fight them to heal them, friends who love each of them enough to do the hard thing and heal them when they are so injured they don't even recognize it anymore."

Nathan stood and went to a sink. He got a glass of water and slowly sipped at it as if drawing strength from it. When he looked up from the water, the anguish in his eyes had been replaced by determination; though there was still a lot of fatigue.

"Thank you, Ashley." The tiger-tabby said gratefully. "I think I needed someone to just point out where I went wrong in my reasoning." He sighed quietly. "I did know the truth, but it was easier to deal with the delusion. The delusion let me feel important when I was having a great deal of self-doubt, and let me feel significant at a time when I was having feelings of insignificance."

She stood with a nod and embraced him. "Just like Jake is dealing with many of his hurts," she spoke softly, "the difference is that you want to see the truth, and he's actively avoiding it for the most part."

Nathan nodded slowly in grim understanding. "I actually knew that they still loved each other, indeed I think that's part of the problem. Every time Jake says that Chance doesn't care that much about him or something similar I just want to point out how wrong he is ... but I'm afraid to, afraid he'll run away again."

Ashley guided his chin up so they were facing again. "Nathan, he will run, I can all but guarantee it, and if he can't, he'll fight like a cornered animal." She shook her head. "I can't say I understand exactly what is going on, but he is utterly terrified of facing that truth. It's not even a matter of not wanting to see the truth anymore; something very basic happened in his mind, and he's founded his very existence on the 'fact' that Chance doesn't want him anymore."

Nathan sighed. "I think I saw part of that in the letter he left for Chance, which Chance never saw, couldn't see at the time." He shook his head sadly. "Chance hasn't a clue what Jake wants, that much was pretty clear. Heck right now, I'm not even sure Chance knows what he wants much less anyone else."

The tiger-tabby reversed what he'd been doing and started put things back where they belonged, and blinked at Ashley when he found her strong, black hands helping out unobtrusively. "I'm just glad Brandy was able to encourage Chance's pilot nature back to the foreground before Storm saw what was going on ... I wouldn't want to try explain the complexities of emotional overload and shutdown to an eight-year old."

He shook his head as he put several old medical texts on a shelf. "If hadn't been for my psychometric training, I wouldn't have had a clue. The psych-med training I've got is the equivalent of first aid."

The medic carefully put delicate surgical tools away in very meticulous fashion. "All I was ever supposed to do was hold things together until the real counselors took over." He looked at several databoards before putting them away. "Now I have to be the counselor as well, looks like I'll just have to improv my way through."

"My Phych-Med is only a little better than yours, but we've got a couple folks in here that specialized in the mind," she tapped her head, "and you have the advantage of having all of us interested in seeing this work."

He walked over and carefully started put the broken picture back together. "That is, of course, assuming Chance will even talk to me after he finds out just why I couldn't make to see him like I said I would." He shook his head in quiet amusement. "Last time the subject came up I was still trying to do what I thought was best for the team ... pretend I wasn't in love with either of them ... try not to introduce another problem."

He chuckled and shook his head. "Funny thing was it was even less true then, then it ever had been ... I was in love with both of them by then."

"That sounds like a good place to start to me." She cocked her head and regarded him. "He is rape-scared and feeling very betrayed and abandoned from what I've gathered, but telling him, showing him, you love him without bringing sex into the equation may get to him enough that he listens.

"And if you want my advice, dodge the question of exactly what you've been up to when you see him." She brushed his cheek with a gentle finger. "Don't lie to him, but don't explain or say any more than you have to."

Nathan nodded. "That's probably a good idea, and you're correct on how Chance is feeling, even my limited empathy was able to pick that up. But lie to him, no that's something I won't do."

He chuckled. "I have to admit, my helpfulness almost put Jake and Chance right back in the same unit. According to Caito, Chance was offered a spot in Black Phoenix but turned it down. For about the same reason I turned down my appointment to the Tygrenor Academy."

The tiger-tabby looked around. "Guess that's back to 'normal'." He looked at the Black King Cheetah watching him carefully. "My fear, well that was real enough but misdirected. I can deal with problems as they happen, but what I'm not sure how to deal with is all the people who are going to unhappy with me for upsetting their status quo. Black Phoenix for one, is a group I just prefer to be indivisible to, since I can't imagine there going to appreciate the disruption I just caused."

"You might be surprised," she chuckled softly. "I know them very well, and once the shock wears off, most of them will appreciate what you're doing. If I were in your position, I'd be much more concerned with Felina's reaction. She just went from engaged to Jake as first LifeMate, to watching him marry another, all in a twenty-four hour period." She shook her head sadly. "She also doesn't understand the depth of Jake's illness, and the squad does."

Nathan smiled quietly. "One person, I can handle displeasure from one person. An entire commando unit being unhappy with me is a far bigger concern, so I hope you're right about them." He paused and thought for a moment. "Do you happen to know who the little black and white tomkat in the hangar was? He was far more upset than most of the squad." He asked, not sure why that particular team member had caught his attention, but being concerned all the same.

"He's Patrik 'BlackFire' Celest, Jake, as NightRazor, and Amerith's pilot in Black Phoenix." She swallowed slightly. "He's a genetic creation, like Jake and your father, but designed for Jake. He hasn't been 'alive' quite four years yet."

Nathan stopped abruptly. "Four years? Storm's about that old. Designed for Jake?" He looked at Ashley, shaken.

She nodded a little sadly. "He was Pakitra's best effort to provide Jake what he needed that he wasn't finding on his own. There were already tremendous problems between Jake and Chance by then. You have to give her and the genetics team credit, they did a very good job given the lack of information they had. He is damn near perfect, for a third of Jake's needs in a mate, and the only one so far able to deal with Jake's mood swings and shifts."

"Blessed Mother, no wonder he's upset. He probably thinks Jake's leaving him for me, which leaves him not sure what to do." He paused switching to the Triad channel briefly, and then relaxed a little. "Thankfully, Felsira adjusted the Joining shields to keep Patrik's link with Jake from being muffled accidentally. And there's another Black Phoenix member named Alex keeping him calmed down."

The tiger-tabby shook his head. "Well, nothing to be done from in here. I hope he hasn't been hurt too bad by this, it's not like Jake has to leave him for me or anything." Nathan grinned weakly. "Actually, he's kind of cute."

"Do me a favor, ask Jake what he intends with Rik." She went completely serious. "It's quite possible he hasn't figured out you don't expect to have him to yourself."

"I will," he nodded, still a little shaken. "I better find Storm ... I probably scared him retreating like this."

"You scared him enough to go 'protect' Chance himself, with an assassin's Psi-Blade." She shivered at the memory of the time she saw the results of one of those used first hand, and followed him out. "I talked him out of it, but he's very worried about everyone he cares about. What happened with Tygrenor Academy?"

Nathan chuckled. "Psi-blade, huh? Sounds like I need to have little talk with Hunter about what is and isn't appropriate to show an eight-year old."

As he walked through the hallways, the lights began to return to normal. "Tygrenor Academy is the top Aerospace Academy on Felsinor. It's where the best of the best pilots go to get their gold wings, the military certification." He paused for a moment. "After I got put back into normal society, I wanted to get in there more than anything. And by the time I was 15 I had my silver wings and several instructors who'd written glowing recommendations to get me in ... despite the fact that the minimum age is 16, since Tygrenor is military service."

He paused looking into the distance. "On my sixteenth birthday, well what I thought was sixteenth, I guess it was actually more like my twenty-fourth, I got the appointment letter. All I had to do was pass the entrance physicals and the psych screening. My adopted father was furious that I had chosen a military career. At any rate, I passed the physicals easily, after all I'd been a pilot for years and I still had the benefits of years of commando training, even if I didn't know it then.

"During the final meeting with the Academy Commander, I asked him if I'd have to have a gunner. When he said 'Of course, all flight trainees are paired pilot/gunner by a very careful selection and screening process, I handed him the appointment letter back and said I couldn't do it.

"He asked why, to which I remember replying 'I can't trust anyone that much, not again.' He tried talking me into trying, but I wouldn't change my mind ... I still hadn't recovered from Sy, my first gunner's, death. I walked away from the one thing I'd wanted more than anything, rather than trust anyone that way again."

Nathan paused at an intersection. "According to Caito, Chance's reasoning behind turning down Black Phoenix was similar. He'd 'lost' his gunner, and wasn't ready to work with another one."

"I can't say I blame him." Ashley shook her head. "From what I've gotten from him and others, he's really taken Jake's betrayal of their partnership to heart." She sighed in frustration. "Even though I know it's probably not safe, I want to get those two in a room and lock the door until they actually talk to each other."

"Just give me some warning before you do that, okay? I'll need to get my shields reinforced so as to avoid a month of migraines from the feedback." He smiled weakly. "Not that I think its necessarily a bad idea, but you'd better have some method of knocking them out available so they don't kill each other, even accidentally.

"So how long do you think they could go before they managed to talk to each other, as opposed to say yelling at each other?" He asked with only a slight touch of humor.

"Depends on how long my temper holds out." She chuckled with a mixture of seriousness and warped humor. "Personally, I think they could manage for several more decades left to their own devices, but I have no intention of letting it be that easy on them." Grim determination crossed her face. "Between the Jedi and myself, we can wear their resistance to common sense down eventually."

Nathan looked something between determined and amused. "Decades? Oh, I don't think my patience will last that long. Besides, this unpleasant separation isn't doing either of them any good, and I can't just ignore something like that." He chuckled quietly. "Of course, I better calm Storm down, before he ends up LifeBonded to Chance. Not that he'd be any more of that one then he is the other one."

"That does not sound good." She groaned. "He's in the Command Center with Morin, I hope."

Nathan concentrated, then smiled. "Yes, he is. Morin's teaching him a strategy game, chess. Should keep him distracted for a while, especially if he decides to teach the Gargoyles to play.

"He must have decided things are 'safe' for now, since he 'let' Morin distract him. So I don't think he'll enhance the Bond again right away. I guess he must have seen what I did earlier using the Bond between me and Jake to make sure Felsira wouldn't let anything happen to Jake."

They got in the lift to the Command Center. "I guess I overdid things when I tried to shield away all my concerns and worries so I could focus on the Joining. It's tough for me to be _off-duty_, I'm always worrying about the team. This once I wanted to be off-duty, so I could give Jake all of my attention, so I stuffed everything that I was worrying about behind tight shields.

"I should've realized that Storm would notice that I'd shielded everything about Chance, just so I wouldn't accidentally bring up a memory where Jake would see it. Good intentions ... not so good execution."

"Been there, done that, now let's fix the fallout." She rolled her shoulders back. "Say hi to Storm, and back to dealing with Jake." She cast a look in Nathan's direction. "I don't suppose you have a clue why we haven't entered the Sharing yet? If Jake has another mask, he's hiding it way too well, since even V'Feri can't find it."

Nathan shook his head. "Not really, though I think it probably has to do with the fact there's a lot of extra psychic 'clutter', for lack of a better word. I've never heard of Joining with this many 'minds' involved, especially now I've got mine running loose. There's also the extras, like Storm and Morin in here, who wouldn't be normally. Plus, the facilitator's had a lot more work than normal trying to hold things together. Hopefully, once I get Storm calmed down we can get things back on track."

He looked at her, as if something had just occurred to him. "By the way, where is Jake?"

"Last time I saw him he was arguing with Hunter over who had kill-rights on Feral near the entrance to the station, and Felsira ... or at least one of her major assistants ... was standing guard to make sure neither of them tried to move their physical bodies before Joining was over."

Nathan chuckled openly. "Sounds like Hunter all right, nothing he likes like a good argument ... or any argument for that matter."

The doors opened onto the Command Deck, and Storm turned to see his father and Ashley exit the lift. He left the chess game, and ran to his father.

Nathan bent down on one knee to catch the little tiger in his arms. He hugged the kit tight. "Sorry I worried you Storm. But you don't need to protect Chance, he's already being taken care of."

"I know, Ashley explained that. Sorry I asked ..."

Nathan gently hushed the kit. "No, there was nothing wrong with you asking, it's just something that's going to take time, probably a lot of time, and it's not easy for me to deal with." He gently brushed Storm's hair back with his hand. "Now I have things to take care of with Jake, so I need you to stay here on the station ... okay?"

Storm smiled. "Okay, I'll stay out of the way."

Nathan stood up and smiled. "You're not in the way, but this adult stuff will just bore you."

"Yah, I guess." He ran back to the chess game with Morin, who waved at Nathan from across the room.

*'Do you plan to finish this Joining at some point, or were you planning on permanent residence in Joining space?'* The Dracon asked in an amused mind-voice.

*'Oh, I didn't see any rush. I figured we'd just laze around the station for awhile.'* Nathan grinned mentally.

"Okay, Ashley. I think we can move on, let's go find Jake."

She frowned in irritation. "He hasn't moved, physically, psychically, or in the argument."

Nathan chuckled. "I'm not surprised, especially about the argument. After all, Hunter is me and I'm very stubborn. Especially if I think I'm right ... and Hunter always thinks he's right. He has an absolute certainty about what he thinks and does ... I'd say feels, but emotions are not something Hunter does ... it's why he's so good."

He smiled as they took the lift back down to airlock level. As the two toms came into view, Nathan whispered to Ashley. "If I was in a more mischievous mood right now, I'd set off the sprinkler system just to break up the argument."

"Do it!" She tried very hard to keep the squeak of delight from drawing the male's attention. "They need to cool off."

Nathan could barely repress a giggle as he turned and whispered to a command panel. "Gildenfire, please test the sprinkler system in docking collar 12B, water 10 degrees Celsius. Command override is Alpha-One-One-Seven-Beta-Four." He looked at Ashley. "You know, there were a couple of his arguments with Chance I wanted to break up this way ... but the fire control system wasn't nearly as cooperative."

"Command override acknowledged. Executing fire control system test in docking collar 12B." The computer confirmed quietly, just before concealed jets thoroughly doused the airlock area with cold water.

Ashley didn't bother to restrain her laughter as the males howled in displeasure as their first priority became escaping the freezing deluge.

"That is not funny." A sopping wet, shivering Jake Clawson growled at the snickering pair.

Nathan noted Hunter had headed the opposite direction before he kicked a wall panel and pulled out a large, fluffy red towel with the Gildenfire logo imprinted on it. He handed it to Jake, while making a valiant, yet futile effort not to grin. He managed a fairly straight-faced mental image of quarters being nearby where Jake could get warmed up and dried off.

Nathan carefully picked a frequency Ashley could 'hear' and sent a shielded thought. *'Do you think this would work for him and Chance?'* The thought was clearly the product of suppressed giggles and a warped sense of humor.

"For a while." She purposefully spoke out loud, considering.

"Whatever you two had planned, can wait." Jake grumbled and he grabbed Nathan's arm, a look of pure playful malice on his face. "You froze me, you can warm me up again."

Nathan grinned over his shoulder at Ashley, before he was dragged away. "Sounds like fun, have anything specific in mind?" He asked with a distinct leer in his voice.

"No," Jake growled again, his discomfort clear in his voice as he tagged the door open and let go of Nathan's arm as he walked in. "I'm cold." He finally lost the battle with his body and started to shiver for real as he looked around for the bathroom.

Nathan gently guided the shivering Kat over to the bathroom, which contained both a large shower and a large whirlpool bathtub. Nathan pressed a button on the wall, which added warm air jets to the room. He considered and turned the shower up to the temperature he remembered Jake liking.

He gently helped his shivering mate out of cold, wet clothes and into the warming shower when the tom's own attempts proved more frustrating than effective. "Better?" He asked, concerned and without a trace of humor.

Jake nodded weakly as he shifted to put as much hot water along his body as possible, and as much of the rest along his mate's warmth. "I don't get cold." He sighed as spasming muscles relaxed in the steam and direct pressure of hot water. "Not like this. Water wasn't that cold."

Nathan nodded. "You're right, the temperature of the water was cold but not dangerously so, and you weren't in it that long." He said as the tub quickly filled. He gently guided Jake into the tub, until his shivering mate was fully immersed. He then held him close to add body heat to the warmth of the water.

The tiger-tabby gently scanned telepathically looking for something else to be wrong, and carefully maintained a calm demeanor, even as he found nothing obvious. The Kat's mind 'felt' cold, but no apparent cause was there.

Nathan quickly thought out to Felsira. *'Mother, would you check Jake over, physically. If I didn't know better I'd say he's suffering from hypothermia, which doesn't make sense.'*

A quiet nod acknowledged his request, as the Healer checked the lean tom over thoroughly, and found nothing wrong besides a few cramped muscles, but certainly nothing close to what was going on to the Kat in Joining space.

Nathan sent a quiet mental order to the Medical bay, bringing it online and dispatching a mobile delivery unit with his Healer's kit.

Jake was warm to the touch and relaxed by the time the unit arrived, and quickly acquiring an interest in the fact that both of them were naked in a large whirlpool. "Whatever that was about, I feel better now."

Nathan silently told the unit to park out of sight in the bedroom, smiled and absently ran his fingers through Jake's fur. "I'm glad to hear that, you had me worried." He said quietly, but made no move to leave the whirlpool.

"I was worried." He shivered once along his spine before pulling himself up to strattle Nathan's lap. He kissed the Felsin soundly before slipping his tongue out, seeking admittance to his mate's mouth.

Nathan accepted the passionate kiss, and encouragingly rubbed his mate's back, while he waited to see if the tom had something specific in mind. He carefully shielded any guilt about the sprinkler prank, and he reminded himself had been harmless ... something else had happened, at the same time, even Jake recognized that.

He felt Jake reach out to try to get the lights off and guided his mate's mind to the switch and flipped with without hesitation as Jake caressed him hard.

"Tell me if it gets too much," Jake whispered as their mouths parted and the lean tomkat pulled away, turning so his back was against Nathan's chest as slid down, his knees outside his mate's legs. One hand guided the hard shaft into position, the other brought Nathan's hand around to his own swelling cock.

Nathan needed no further encouragement as he slid easily inside his mate's body. A back corner of his mind recognized that he _wasn't_ buried in Jake's ass, but the feel of his mate's twitching cock in his hand, the Kat's balls brushing against his thighs as the came together and the heady musk of male arousal was enough to silence his reflexive doubt about it being a male in his arms.

"Take your time." Jake whispered as he leaned back, bringing as much of their bodies into contact as he could. The position placed Nathan's chin just over his shoulder as Jake rolled his head back, exposing his throat as he groaned in pleasure and desire. "Want this to last."

That was one request Nathan was more than willing to grant, since there was fatigue building in places he hadn't realized got fatigued. But a metabolism trick here, the right touch there and things went, so to speak, according to plan. Nathan was so busy concentrating on making the pleasure for both of them last, that he mostly suppressed any doubts about whatever form his mate was in now.

What Nathan found he _couldn't_ ignore was the fact that he just so tired, and it was getting worse. He decided he needed the energy on the mental plane more and carefully pulled back energy from 'extraneous' functions of the unconscious physical form. He began to feel better, though he had no doubt it was a temporary victory.

Suddenly, there was a soft voice in his head. *'Just what are you doing, Nathan?'* Felsira's voice asked, concerned.

*'I just needed the energy elsewhere, nothing dangerous.'*

*'If you're going to insist on operating in a 'physical' fashion, then you need to tend to 'physical' needs, especially the way you've been throwing energy around. You both need to relax so I'm going to send Heartfire over with breakfast for the two of you.'*

*'Mother, you don't ...'*

*'As your facilitator my role is to get you through this ... and I'd like to get you two into the Sharing at some point, and back to the real world ... preferably before Patrik needs my services in the Psych-med department.'* Her voice was concerned, and a little fatigued.

*'Yes, mother.'*

Nathan shifted the caresses and kisses from extending their play, to reaching a conclusion. A low noise from Jake seemed to question the change in focus. Nathan applied to gentle kisses to turn the questioning noise into a far more excited one.

As they lay in the large bed in the master bedroom, Nathan discretely checked several of his responses for fatigue symptoms and discovered that Felsira was right, he was pushing too hard. He looked at Jake lying against his chest. "Sorry about the 'rush', but I needed to rest and as much as I was enjoying playing, it wasn't exactly rest. Oh, Mother's sending room service up with breakfast shortly." He said tiredly.

"Sorry," Jake whispered as snuggled closer to kiss Nathan's jaw. "Rest, and stay there until you feel better." He insisted with a mixture of exasperation and sternness as he licked the tiger-tabby's nose. "You're supposed to be the Medic, not me."

"Yes, Jake." He replied with mock meekness.

"I'm serious Nate." Jake didn't bother to hide his concern. "You're hurting yourself." He shifted to look his mate in the face. "It's one thing getting hurt by taking a shot for me, but this is just sex."

Nathan lay quietly looking at Jake. "It wasn't the sex that caused the problem ... it's just that I didn't realize how big a drain splintering off the new personas was. If I'd had my 'path abilities longer I'd be a better judge of energy use, but as it is ... I don't realize I've over done it till I start falling over ... it just happened to coincide with the sex."

Jake took a moment to sort threw his own new memories and nodded before deliberately touching minds. He offered a sort of digest version of how he worked around the issues, and the early warnings he got. "At least all but one is cooperative."

Nathan smiled. "Thanks for the briefing. And as for that one, well ... I think Surin scared him pretty badly, and I don't expect to see him again for quite a while. Probably not till he thinks he has an ace-in-the-hole, so to speak."

Jake shivered. "Yes, that's not going to be a pleasant process. He can't be gotten rid of the easy way ... speaking of which, what the hell happened with the memory restoration?"

"I'm guessing you're asking why Surin couldn't simply delete the physical/ chemical process that encodes the associated memories. I'll try to explain it, but even Felsira's not entirely sure."

He concentrated for a moment. "For most people memory is simply a chemical process of encoding neurons into given patterns. This is why Surin can 'erase' memories, and when memories fade and degrade over time normally." He paused briefly. "For some reason, my memory has at least one, and possibly more 'metaphysical' backup procedures. Essentially, what happened was the backup utility came through, noticed a discrepancy in the memory patterns, and 'restored' them to the correct pattern.

"Felsira has learned over the years of a way to temper the memories so they become blurred ... I'm not sure why the backup process doesn't notice but I guess the blurring doesn't quite meet the 'error' criteria.

"Unfortunately, this won't help with the problem personality, because tempering has no effect ... Felsira's tried that once before it didn't work."

Nathan laid back and relaxed. "This is mostly hypothetical, Felsira doesn't think it's a problem. Quite the contrary, she thinks its some sort of survival mechanism combined with the way my mind sorts and organizes memories linked to my unusually long life expectancy."

Nathan turned to look at Jake. "Did I answer the question you were asking ... or did I just give you a dissertation on an unrelated topic?" He grinned quirkily.

Jake nodded slowly, sending the information to the sections of his mind that dealt with it better. "Okay, what did you want to talk about?"

Nathan sighed. "There was something that Ashley told me, that I wanted to talk to you about ... it's 'outside' world related, so it can wait if you want to leave 'outside' world stuff till later." The tiger-tabby said quietly, letting his mind drift calmly until breakfast arrived.

"If you have something ... please talk." Jake settled in with a glance at the door.

Nathan hesitated briefly, since he'd been vaguely hoping Jake wouldn't want to talk. "I'm pretty sure that this going to come out really clumsy, so bear with me. Clumsy mostly 'cause back home it wouldn't be an issue, and here, well, I'm not sure if it is or not."

He caught a slightly impatient look. "I know, I'm beating around the bush." He took a deep breath, and then dove in headlong, verbally speaking. "Okay, ever since we left the hanger, back in the real world, I'd been trying to figure out who the little black and white tom who looked so devastated was. Mostly 'cause he was the last person I saw, and the look on his face kind of stuck in my mind. Well, I was talking to Ashley a little while ago and she told me that that was Patrik, your pilot, but that still didn't make sense until I stuck a few other things together and realized that he's a lot more than just your pilot; I may be off base but I think he's more like your mate and well it occurred to me that you might think I expected to have you all to myself and I just wanted to make sure you understood that I don't expect, heck I don't want you to think that 'cause I don't. I don't know if you've given any thought to what all this is going to mean as far as your relationship with him, but from what I see I think he's good for you, and well I wouldn't want you to do anything rash in that department."

The tiger-tabby stopped as his lungs pointed out the necessity of breathing. "Put more simply, if he's willing to share, so am I." He smiled exhaustedly, with complete sincerity overlaying his thoughts and words.

Jake took a long moment to sort out what Nathan said, and another to figure out what it meant before shaking his head. "Honestly didn't think about it at all. He's just sort of there ... and yes, he's my mate, and pilot, and everything I kept trying to be with Chance." He sighed dejectedly as something hit his consciousness. "And I'm just screwing everything up, aren't I?"

Nathan rubbed the lean tom's shoulders comfortingly. "No, not really. Things have happened very fast for both of us, and we haven't had a lot of time to think. But that's why I brought him up, I want you to know that you don't have to change how things are with him."

He gently licked Jake behind one ear. "I don't know him, so I can't tell how he'll react ... but for me, it really isn't an issue."

He held Jake close. "I don't understand how things are here, but I'll try to explain my take on relationships to give you some understanding of where I'm coming from.

"For Felsin, threes or triads are almost as common as couples as far as relationships, Joinings and marriages go. Kind of relates to our primary deity set, the Triad, who are all mates to each other.

"Actually, for toms triads are rather more common, especially in military circles. A fair number of our small commando units are Bonded Triads, it's the way we do things ... for one thing it makes life a lot more bearable if one member of a Bonded Triad dies, because the other two have each other to lean on.

"Triads normally start as a Bonded Pair, and then one of them finds a suitable mate, who's equally acceptable to the other. What this means is that it's fairly normal for the members of a Bonded Pair to date outside the pair from time to time, or more often depending on the mates in question.

"This works only where trust exists and open communication. As I understand the basic principles; one-night stands are pretty much okay; longer than that and there's an obligation to at least 'tell' the other mate what's going on, and who the new person is. Under ideal circumstances, it's a good idea to actually introduce the two. The other basic principle is no dating someone who actively dislikes, or is actively disliked by the other partner. This is just basic courtesy since the Pair's loyalty is supposed to be to each other first and above any others.

"That's why I don't have a problem with you staying with Patrik, I know who he is and I don't have any reason to dislike him and more importantly ... I think he's good for you.

"As for the other relationship, if you don't mind I think I'd like to table that issue for some other time." Nathan carefully shielded the thought that he wanted to table it, cause he didn't feel like arguing.

Jake took a deep breath and nodded, filing the information away to be actually comprehended past the basic gist of it later.

"I kind of meant how I've been treating Rik." He rested against Nathan's chest and closed his eyes. "I've been trying so hard with Chance, that I never saw I had what I wanted, just in a different body." He shivered. "Might have even saved what was left with Chance if I'd noticed."

Jake looked up at that distressed, exhausted face of his mate and shook his head again. "Sorry, Nate. You're supposed to be resting." He shot another look at the door. "Where's the kitchen? I'll fix something up while we wait for room service."

There was a loud knock on the door at that moment, which caused Nathan to grin broadly. "Room service didn't want to interrupt." He stated evenly, as a large cart came in pushed by a larger winged lion, who left and came back with a second cart.

The lion looked at the two and a stern, deep male mind-voice told both of them. *'Breakfast is courtesy of Lady Felsira, who expects that both of you will eat and relax.'* The Lion then leaving the two of them with a rather large breakfast assortment to choose from.

Nathan laughed in cheerful amusement. "Never thought I'd see Heartfire delivering room service. Mother must really be serious." He paused. "Mother said to tell you not to worry about Rik, she and somebody named Alex is looking after him." He noticed the previously not-present table now set for breakfast for two. He nodded at the table. "I think that's a hint."

"And I think it would be a bad idea to ignore it." Jake smiled and offered a hand to his mate as clothes appeared on both of them. "You're a little too tempting naked," he chuckled at Nathan's raised eyebrow, "and I'd rather not piss her off any more than she already is. Now sit, I'll serve, and pass my thanks along to her, for breakfast, and the news. Alex has been a good friend, and lover, to both of us."

Nathan chuckled as he obligingly sat at the table. "Actually though, she's not pissed off, she's just concerned ... you haven't seen her pissed off and you don't want to. For one thing, if she gets pissed off, that pisses off Caito and Keltin, who are far more volatile and dangerous." He smiled quietly. "Those two have been uncommonly well-behaved all things considered."

"So I've heard ... something about Caito trying to calm down Cathedral when the real world freaked. Amerith was rather impressed ... though she didn't know he was a god at the time."

"And she said she doesn't mind looking after Rik, though I guess Alex is really the one who calmed him down."

"He has a gift for it."

Nathan laughed loudly, leading Jake to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry, Mother just commented that Rik reminds her of me, a long time ago." Nathan shook his head in amusement. "I don't know, I don't think I was ever that cute." He said with a quirky smile.

"Don't remind me," Jake rolled his eyes as he poured a nearly neon pink juice into two glasses, "I rather like not remembering how young he is."

Nathan sipped at the pink juice. "Young? Oh right, that years lived thing ... I could see how that could be umm ... disconcerting, but that's a deceptive measure of age anyway. Seeing as he's an accomplished pilot, he must be mentally somewhere in the late teens at least possibly older and that's what's important. Well, that's my loud-mouthed opinion anyway." He said calmly, nibbling at breakfast as Jake sat down to his own.

"Mentally, I don't know, I swear he acts younger than he looks out of the cockpit and bed," he shivered sharply and refused to look up, "and it's not years lived ... kit looked fourteen when we met, he's about sixteen now, mentally unchanged in four. Just makes me feel like a pervert sometimes. I've killed over touching a kit that young, especially considering how old I am ... though I was ... whatever." Jake made a decided effort to eat the meal he'd lost interest in.

Nathan thought about it for a moment, then quietly got a divine second opinion. He smiled gently. "Jake, I think the best way to look at it is that Patrik is who and what he is, and you're nothing wrong by accepting him that way. In fact, you'd hurt him if you didn't I expect." Nathan looked thoughtful for a moment. "I do have to wonder what the design team was thinking though."

"_That's_ what bothers me." He let a long breath out. "It just makes me wonder sometimes, that I could find a body that young a turn-on, much less what about me made them design him that way. It wasn't a technology issue, we can create adults, there's something in my profile that make his apparent age ... desirable."

Nathan paused for a moment. "Mother agrees a little more emphatically; something about love that is willing and wanted is no perversion." He shrugged. "Never argue with Mother."

"I know," he smiled weakly. "I don't hold it against him, I just don't like to remember that if it was anyone but him ..." he shook his head. "It's just unnerving to remember someone I've been with for almost four years is still considered statutory rape if I ever took him into the city. I just don't like what it says about me."

Nathan quietly spoke to Felsira for a little bit. "Jake, have you ever considered that you probably _wouldn't_ respond the same?

"Urr, no." Jake blinked, appraising that idea.

"Based on what Felsira tells me, Rik loves you unconditionally and that's something anyone responds to. As for technology, the aging process is never perfect; a three or four year discrepancy especially in the teenage range isn't that uncommon. Maybe they were aiming for eighteen and got fourteen instead ... I don't know."

"Really?" He actually sounded fairly hopeful. "I never got into it, but I never got the feeling his age was anything but intentional."

"Trying to grow someone to a full adult that quickly is an uncertain possess at best." Nathan nodded. "And given how much it bothers you, I don't think you're any danger to anyone. As for that statutory rape bit, well that's a legalism that varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, culture to culture and I've seen places where twelve was legal, and other places where twenty wasn't." Nathan shook his head remembering a very bizarre shore leave.

"Jake, I'm as protective about kits as anyone and I don't think your relationship with Patrik says anything about you, except that you love someone who loves you a great deal. If it helps any, on my homeworld it would have been legal even when he was fourteen, because any social telepath would have seen that there was no coercion involved; the primary determining factor in legality between the ages of 12 and 16, absent parental approval."

"Sixteen?" Jake prompted.

Nathan nodded. "Yes, sixteen is the legal age of consent on Felsinor, not surprising since it's also the earliest age of military enlistment. I guess somebody figured if you're old enough to handle weapons, you can probably handle sex. It's also the general Alliance age of consent, though individual planets can have different laws."

He smiled. "For example, I think the Ferrin abolished age of consent entirely, but then again they're the Alliance's definition of 'sexaholic'; they have sex at the drop of a hat ... any hat. Of course, I've never heard of a Ferrin saying no to sex anyway."

"Please excuse me if I still think of our kits as 'kits' until they're eighteen, and we are not visiting that planet till they're in their teens."

Nathan chuckled. "That planet is kind of on the outskirts anyway, and I've never been there. I certainly wouldn't put it on a list of family trip destinations."

Jake shook his head. "But then, my only real comprehension of the concept comes second hand. It never really applied to me or anyone I know, combat or sex ... or drinking for that matter. I think I get a little up tight about it sometimes."

He smiled. "Jake, I'll probably think of them as 'kits' well past eighteen, many parents do. But I think we need to wait and see, maturity is highly species dependent ... so I'm not exactly sure how things will work out in that department."

"Oh, that." Jake nodded uneasily. "That would be a bit of an unknown."

"Of course, kits are kind of a moot point till we get out of the Joining, and see what kettle of fish we've stirred up in the real world. We've given everyone hours to try and guess what we're doing."

"Speaking of which, the masks are down ... why hasn't the Sharing started ... or has it and we just haven't noticed?"

Nathan chuckled. "You know, Ashley asked me the same question not that long ago. I'm not sure, but then again nothing in this Joining has gone according to protocol, so I don't know why the Sharing would. Though we've shared a good deal more than a lot of Joining pairs do ... I'm really kind of at a loss."

He shrugged. "We can't be too far off course, Felsira hasn't given us a shove yet. In fact, she just sent breakfast to make sure we'd slow down. I think some of the difficulty is that we have a veritable crowd of additional people milling about, which is very unusual for a Joining ... not that I mind, actually I've been rather grateful for Ashley's presence on a number of occasions."

Nathan's face lit up as a realization hit him. "I think I know what part of the problem is." He laughed. "This location, Gildenfire station is not in Joining-space, it's a specially created subsection of my mind that I created for Storm, to give him a home until I could fix up a new body. I think we kind of took a detour, and didn't realize it.

"Speaking of 'tours', Storm still wants to show you the 'special place' I created for him. It's only a short walk, and it's kind of important to him."

Jake chuckled. "Finish breakfast first, and then you are taking a nap."

"Yes, sir." Nathan shook his head meekly, then chuckled. "The things we find to talk about over breakfast, and all I was trying to say was that I was okay with the way things are between the two of you."

Jake chuckled with real humor in the tone. "I suggest you get used to it. Between the squad and Pat, this is a pretty normal meal, all things considered."

The Kat regarded a piece of bright red fruit the size of his fist as his face fell. "As for hurting Rik ... I know." He shifted uneasily and continued to eat. "I decked him the first time he kissed me. Those first four months were painful for both of us, but more for him than me. I just had to accept that my pilot was younger than I was comfortable with. He had to deal with me." Jake finally looked up. "Not sure if you know the kind of jerk I can be when I'm fighting myself like that, but it's nothing I'd inflict on an enemy, much less a teammate. It still amazes me that he put up with me that long, much less forgave me."

Jake shook his head. "Now _I'm_ blabbering," he sighed. "Nothing about that situation sits well with me, even after four years."

Nathan got up, walked around the table and put his arms around Jake gently. "After all the blabbering I've done, you're entitled. And an old friend of mine once told me that sometimes it helps to talk about things. How often have you really gotten to talk about this, I mean really talk?"

"Never," the answer came too easily to his lips. "I don't get to talk like this, about anything."

Nathan smiled calmly. "Well, that's not the case anymore, and I don't mean just in this Joining-space. You can talk to me about anything, I won't always agree but I'll always listen. Sounds to me like you need to talk like this more often." There was a calm certainty in the tiger-tabby's words.

Jake looked up over his shoulder, a mixture of hope and fear giving an uncertain edge to his smile as he covered Nathan's hand with his own. "Thanks."

Nathan leaned a little and kissed Jake chastely. "Anytime." He barely suppressed a yawn, then realized that Jake had noticed it. "I seem to recall someone saying I was supposed to take a nap, actually two people told me that." He yawned again, not hiding it this time. "I guess it's not a bad idea after all."

The tiger-tabby headed for the bed, then looked over his shoulder at his mate. "Care to join me?" He said, clearly have ideas other than a nap in mind.

"You are incorrigible." Jake laughed and shook his head. "I'll join you after you fall asleep." He turned back to his plate. "I'm actually still hungry, for food."

Nathan laughed as he climbed into bed, pulled the covers up and then removed his clothes with a thought. As he drifted off to sleep, an errant thought drifted across his Bond with Jake. *'You try a year of cold showers, and see how 'incorrigible' you are.'* The thought was mostly amused, but there was a small thread of regret for having waited so long. But it was hard to tell if the thought came from the conscious mind, or the unconscious.

"Oh, I've got a pretty good idea." The Kat whispered as he watched his new LifeMate drift into dreamland.

Title:	A Triad Through Fire, Darkness and Death 27: Storm Serge
Authors:	by Fur and Fantasy [Website]
Rating:	NC-17
Status:	Complete
Timing:	Sometime with SWAT
Fandoms:	SWAT Kats, CoSG, Gargoyles TAS, ,many others
Pairings:	Chance/Feral, Chance/Female, Jake/Chance, Jake/Felina, Jake/Male, Jake/Female, Jake/Nathan SwiftClaw
Category:	Adult, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Crossover, Drama, Fantasy, HetFic, Romance, Slash
Codes:	Sex: M/F, Sex: M/M, Violence, Sexual Violence
Historical:	Death Rape: M on M Rape: F on M Sexual Violence
Summary:	With the third SWAT Kat away at a medical conference, all hell breaks loose at the Yard, and getting his partners back together are the very least of Nathan's concerns soon enough.
Notes:
Disclaimer:	As everyone should know, none of us claim any rights or ownership of the characters and worlds belonging to others, including the SWAT Kats and any others we throw in the mix. We're doing this because we love them too much to see them be forgotten, or not have just one more adventure, and just possibly the reward they deserve.