Subject: !SKFF! And he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer... Date: Wed, 09 Sep 1998 15:25:39 +1000 From: nball@ug.cs.su.oz.au (Ball; Nicholas James) Reply-To: sk_fanfic@PEAK.ORG To: DJ Clawson , Jade Callan , Johnno , Justin Bennett , "Till; Michael William Robert" , Alexandra Cook , "DENNETT M.O" , eViL kNeViL , Strike CC: "Moore; Richard" , "Murtagh; Thomas Francis" , Strike , A Stack , Brandon K , Felicia Tabby , Brandon K , Elizabeth Lee , Harlequin , Karpen , "P.I. Hackle" , Viktora David LOSE WEIGHT! GET FREE MONEY! WIN A BOAT! LIVE FOREVER! Yes, by merely forwarding this chain e-mail to everyone you possible know as quickly as is possible, you'll have distanced yourself from all of society and become one of the following, if not all! * Pariah * Persona non grata * SOB * Loser And much, much more! Read on! * 1. The "Logical" Section for the Superstitious People (Stupid) Alright, we all know of the mystical powers that the number 8 contains, don't we? No? Well, in 199*8*, one John Smith of Iowa said "Eight" on a typical day of the week, and he was immediately given all the powers contained in the magical EIGHT colours of the rainbow, for all EIGHT days of the week - simply by saying EIGHT. John Taylor of New York did NOT say "EIGHT" on the 3rd of January in that same year, and he lost a quarter on the train. This passage is being written in a porrly conructed scientific method to fool the lesser willed and superstitious of you all into forwarding this email to every living soul you know. Anyone not conned by this parlour trick, please move on to part 2. * 2. The Poem Section for the Poetical Types (Stupid) I had a true love, and she did die And then her soul to heaven Did fly. Wasn't that beautiful everyone? Wouldn't YOU like to touch a friend's heart just as that poem did? Then just forward this email to as many people as you know, and they'll also be touched my the magical aesthetically pleasing nature of the email as you were. Go on, it'll make you good friends with everyone, and sound romantic if you're gullible enough for that line. If you're not clicking the "Forward Email" button like an obsessive complusive at this stage, let's hit Stage 3... * 3. Jokes! Stupid People Like The Cutting Edge of Humour! Here's a funny joke for all you people...;) Bill Gates walks down a street with a republican and a computer programmer and god knows how many other sad tired cliches, oh wait, Monica Lewisnsky can be walking with them too, oh, and Princess Diana, and Micheal Jackson and Kurt Cobain and a boss, and an executive manager and an Irishman and a lesbian and some little boy called 'Peter' as well.. End of joke. hahahahahha. Wasn't that the absolutely funniest thing you've ever heard!??!?! Quick, send the joke on to as many people you know! Quick! If you don't hurry, the joke will appear to be old or outdated/poor quality! Send the emails to everyone! Send the emails to everyone! Not working? Hmm, step into my office for chapter 4... * 4. WIN STUFF! Stupid People Like Free Stuff. Yes! A millionaire sent this email out on Oct 2nd, 1997, as a social experiment >from an anonymous email address, and if YOU'RE the one to return his email to him, you get 100 thousand million trilli- oh, sorry, I wasn't shouting excitedly in an obnoxious fashion. Let's try that again...and if YOU'RE the one to return this email to him, you get 100 THOUSAND MILLION TRILLION BAZILLION DOLLARS! And free copies of here! Go absolutely friggin' nuts and send off thoe emails before I mention statistics and the fact that YOU'RE SO LIKELY THE WINNER ALREADY, WE SHOULD BE SIGNING THE CHECK EVEN AS WE SPEAK! Cut to 5, those who aren't converted. * 5. Hubris and Providence! Stupid people are just stupid! Yes! Send this email to 5 people and you'll get 5 bucks! Sewnd it to ten and the true love of your life will lay you! Send it to 30 and someone will discover the cure to cancer! Send it to over 8 to the power of 8 to the power of 8, which is some number like...uh...8 to the power of 8 is 16777216, and when I try to do that to the power of 8 I get that friggen letter e, with is either an exponential or an error, but..oh, to hell with it, send it to everyone and you'll get tons of god stuff! Providence! Rewards! I can promise this to you, because it has ABSOLUTELY NO FACTUAL BASIS WHATSOEVER! Ring now! Oh, and if you send it to zero people one of two things will happen: 1. You'll die. 2. You won't lose friends by hassling them with chainmail Remember, all the above facts have be scientifically validated! This chainmail even has one of those emoticon little ;) bastards that pisses you off bigtime in it, so it MUST be genuine! Send emails off to everyone in the history of all humanity whilst you still can, and WIN! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Do not meddle in the affairs of certain dark furred gunner, . for he is a smart-ass and well armed. Do not meddle in the affairs of a certain Lieutenant Feral, . for she carries a bazooka and knows how to use it.